Becoming the Eisenhours

I have a poor recollection of the exact moment we met. I am able to recall vague time periods where we crossed paths but not a clear picture perfect story of how we went from strangers to future husband and wife. We grew up in the same hometown our entire lives but attended separate schools. His step mom cut my hair for years but I can’t remember the stories she told except that she kept photographs of all her kids in the salon. We didn’t have mutual friends as kids and our “rival” schools rarely mingled.

When I went off to college I was certain I’d fall in love with the guy I constantly bumped into in the dorm hall freshman year or the guy at the tailgate with deep family ties to Penn State like I do. But as my college years sailed by, I never found him. Christian stepped into my life at the end of my junior year and to be quite honest, it was a blur. I met his best friend before him and overtime we all started spending a lot of time together in various social settings. My first impression of him was underwhelming. Truthfully, we didn’t hit it off the first few times we talked. In fact, we both agree we weren’t fond of one another at the beginning. It wasn’t until my first night home from college in 2014 that we actually had the chance to truly meet. After a night out at the local bar, we spent hours talking, drinking, laughing and ultimately proving that not all first impressions are accurate.

That was the summer he turned into my best friend. We didn’t fall in love at first sight. We didn’t go on cute dates or tell our friends we found the one. There were no grand romantic gestures. I was content and he was content too. There wasn’t a whole lot more to say about it. We spent that summer learning from one another and learning about one another. We shared stories of our childhood and dreams of our future. We discovered all the ways we were different and were rather surprised by the things we had in common. Maybe we were blind to our own feelings, but we didn’t talk about a relationship until months later. And even then, we did not want things to change. In hindsight the circumstances do seem odd, even to me. 
Nevertheless, we were young and still trying to figure our own lives out. Had we known then where we would be today, the time between would undoubtedly look very different. And although I sometimes wish we met sooner, I value each and every step, good and bad, that molded us into the individuals we are, and more significantly, the family we are.

We officially started dating April of 2015 and we were very much in one another’s life the full year leading up to it. So YES IT IS as complicated as it sounds when I then say his daughter was born two months later in June of 2015. I would love very much to protect that part of our story but it isn’t a secret how tough that stage was for us. As we considered turning a corner in our relationship, his life unexpectedly turned a very different corner. There is not much to say except I live by the words “Everything happens for a reason.” That was a period in our life I would describe as quite painful in ways we didn’t quite know how to handle. But I stand by what I alleged when I called him my best friend. His situation was far from ideal, but I couldn’t envision a life without him. I felt very protective of Christian. I wanted to carry the weight of his world on my shoulders. My heart and brain were dragging in opposite directions but my heart won over and over. Ultimately my decision was the scariest one I’ve ever had to make. I was not just signing up for a relationship with Christian. I was signing up for a relationship with his daughter too. Easily the biggest risk in my life, turned out to be the best thing I ever did.

The last four years went by in a blink of an eye. There were plenty of hills to climb and life lessons to learn from along the way. We were serious early and fast but we didn’t feel inclined to rush into the next stage. We had a child to consider. It wasn’t just about us, it was about his daughter too. She is just as much a part of our relationship as we are. Diving head first into a marriage isn’t fair to any child, regardless of circumstances. Because life isn’t always what you want it to be. More often than not, you end up somewhere you never intended to. And that life certainly throws curveballs you aren’t quite prepared for. Every decision we made together had to be done responsibly because her life was, by default, impacted too. We wanted to be certain that the moment we vowed to each other before God and all of our loved ones, that we had overcome every challenge in front of us without pause or question. So we took our time and waited for the right moment. Our moment. We allowed ourselves a few years to be the couple and family we wanted to be.

Photograph by Keri Shean Photography

“Becoming the Eisenhours” was and is not a fairytale. We were learning how to be a couple at the same time we were learning how to be parents. There were major highs and devastating lows. There were moments we spent laughing uncontrollably and others consumed sitting in silence when words failed us. Like most relationships, ours is beautiful and messy. Co-parenting is heartbreaking, chaotic and largely defined by your ability to trust and be trusted. Finding a routine that works for us was a long process and will remain a work in progress. Yet, in spite of how complicated life can be, loving each other feels simple.

Our goal is to get the most out of this life in every role that defines us and in every adventure we meet along the way. As we enjoy the excitement of our engagement and prepare for life as newlyweds, our focus is remaining a team.

Photograph by Keri Shean Photography

Xx RR